- It looks differently from above.
My car slowly rose out of the valley. As I rolled along the highway keeping up to pace with the other vehicles my eyes darted out the window. I allowed them to stay fixed on the view below. I feasted on the valley that was filled to the brim with fall colours. The trees were glowing bright in the morning sunlight. I was just in that valley yesterday. It looked different from below. It felt different when I was in the thick of it walking over fallen trees and pushing bushes aside. It was beautiful from below, but now, from above, I can see the complete picture. I can see how it all comes together in a breathtaking tapestry of living colour, moving and breathing together.
The thought hits me hard – I guess that’s how my life is as well. When I am walking in the thick of it, I see it in a different way. When I am down below the small struggles and patches of imperfections stick out like a sore thumb. Up here, I don’t see the small patch of dead leaves or the small log I had to stumble over. Up here, I see the beauty of it all come together in a brilliant new way.
The struggles and hurt I am going through now will look differently when I can see the bigger picture of my life. Even then, I won’t see it all, but God can see the big picture. He sees the beauty of the tapestry he is weaving, he sees how it will all look together in living colour.
Stop focusing on the small patch of dead leaves looming over head of you, that’s just a small piece of a beautiful tapestry coming together.
2. Literal healing.
Pain flashed through my hand as the flames greedily licked at my fingers. I pulled away fast, but I knew it was more than just a few singed hairs. For the most part I was fairly lucky. I walked away with 3rd degree burns scattered over my fingers, only my middle finger received a nasty 2nd degree burn.
Last week I burned my hand at work. Immediately after it looked angry and red, and it hurt! However, the next day it had faded. It was no longer extremely red, in fact it was mostly a pale grey colour with purple edges. I felt nothing either.
The skin was dead, and even though it didn’t look extremely bad, when you looked closer you could tell something was wrong with it. It wasn’t until a few day into the healing process that the skin started to split and peal, it turned a range of red, purple, and brown. It started to irritate me a lot.
So this is healing, I thought. Initially, my hand didn’t look that bad, nor did it feel that bad. But that was because my skin was dead. It didn’t start to look and feel really bad until the real healing began.
I realized how true this was with emotional and spiritual healing as well. Initially after we are wounded we don’t realize the impact of the wound fully. We numb ourselves too it. Just as my injured skin died, so too will parts of ourselves die. It’s not until we truly begin to heal that we will start to feel everything again. And in that healing process it hurts, and it’s messy, and it won’t be easy.
But after we have lost all of that dead skin, we will see soft fresh new skin underneath where the wound was.
The healing process hurts, and in the thick of it it will be ugly, but something new will grow and life will return.
3. Am I not being enough?
I often ask myself: Am I being too much? However, this morning I found myself asking: am I not being enough? I have a tendency to be rather indecisive. I have a hard time being a lot of something because I never know what to do or which decision to make. I see the world in gray, rather than black and white, which I think is an asset most of the time, but It can be challenging when it comes to decision making, taking a stance on something, and even allowing myself to take up space.
I felt a strong stir deep within my core urging me to be bold in my life, telling me that I need to be willing to take up space and use my voice. God has made me to be who I am; he has placed me where I am; he has given me the skills and perspectives I have for a reason.
I need to stop being afraid of “being too much” and start asking myself am I being enough, am I being bold in who and how God has made me?
Walk in your calling.